Most people listen to respond, they don't listen to hear. The difference is subtle, yet very distinct. When we stop being concerned with responding and focus our concern on hearing what the other is saying and NOT saying. Their body language and posturing. When we listen to respond we mostly over look their body language and posturing and are making notes of bullet points to respond to, to get our point across. I find if I listen to hear. I find areas of common interest that provide clues to how to articulate a response to them that will show them of your hearing their interests and how those interest are similar with yours. It will usually show you some areas to tread lightly. If you are intending on planting a seed because you see they are highly sensitive to the subject you wanted to communicate on. That's where I look to plant a seed. I don't drop a full blown frontal attack of truth upon their sensitive area. That would just trigger their cognitive dissonance. I plant seeds in questions or statements that seem to be in passing, not requiring a response. Something like "That's an interesting position, I wonder what the opposite of that looks like? Then change subject or redirect the conversation to a safer area of agreement. This plants that seed of curiosity of the opposite stance they have on an issue. Also, because you weren't wanting to make that issue the focus of the conversation and move past it. That triggers curiosity in them on that issue. Just my thoughts on your article, great article by the way.


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Great article Joe. I think it's also helpful to simply hold space for other people. Be there to listen and support them, even if you have different beliefs. You don't have to push anything on them.

And living a life that's in alignment with your own beliefs is also big. I find that other people sometimes notice my family lives a bit differently than they do. We aren't glued to our cell phone, we grow a lot of our own vegetables, and other small things like that. Some think we're just weird, but others will be curious, or even inspired by how we live. Seeing others do things differently than you can also plant seeds. Because, in my opinion, it all starts with you anyway.

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imho, dialogue is key. you are on the spot about both i think. both are needed. both deeply respecting the person in front of you, and also having the compassion to reveal a vision that may be alien to their philosophy, but which you feel we all need to grasp.

And i believe it all starts with a deep commitment to truth and justice, and a firm conviction in what you are transmitting.

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