The Art of Becoming: Rediscovering Joy in the Pursuit of Growth

On embracing growth and development for no other reason than it's beautiful.

As I get ready to begin filming my course next week I find myself writing about growth.

Why do we grow? Why do we want to grow? Why do we not want to grow? Perhaps… why do we try so hard to grow/fix that it becomes no fun?

I’ve watched many people, including myself at times, stress over trying to grow or change things about themselves (myself). Constant journaling, constant meditation, constant exercises, constant introspection… trying to find the thing that’s ‘wrong’ and get rid of it. Only then will life feel right and we’ll get what we want.

Exhausting.

I think back to 2009 when I met my first mentor and he told me “You are already whole and complete, there are just aspects of you that may be out of balance or in the way of you feeling wholeness.”

His teachings were not about ADDING things, but about meeting what was there and seeing if I could let go of the things “covering up” my wholeness.

What makes our wholeness inaccessible to us as we live life day to day? Why might angst, stress or confusion be louder than our wholeness? Why might we feel hurt, repressed, or unable more than whole?

With his teaching of accepting who we are at each moment and exploring what is in the way with curiosity, I think about unfoldment. It is a concept of seeing what unfolds in ourselves and our lives when we don’t try to fix what we don’t like but instead meet what is there. Get to know it. Welcome it. See what to say. Maybe energy is stuck. Maybe a story is on a loop. Maybe there’s an old trauma.

This takes skill to do, but… in meeting what’s there now, as opposed to turning away and distracting ourselves from what’s uncomfortable, we create conditions for us to ultimately let go and grow - to develop.

Through letting go and integrating, we develop a greater capacity to listen, to be, to feel, to love, to explore, to be embodied, to grow, to create, and to express. Not for any reason other than because it is beautiful to do so.

This framing is very different than developing simply for utilitarian means. “I want to make more money so I need to develop to rid the thinking that makes me poor, and instead think in a way that helps me make money.”

That is utilitarian and is OK, but there is something about keeping the sacred in the picture. There’s something about growing and becoming simply for the sake of it. Because it’s beautiful.

I have found over the last 15 years that this more beautiful framing of growth and expansion brings more meaning. It helps us appreciate our journey, and it doesn’t focus so much on end goals. If we attain a goal, great, if we don’t, also great. We move out of trying so hard to get and instead soften into becoming.

I’ve always found that when I live life attuned in this way and remain grounded and tied to the physical aspect of the human experience, I trust more. I know what to do. I am inspired to create. I don’t suffer.

This doesn’t mean I don’t experience pain from time to time, but it doesn’t become suffering. I find I also don’t get stuck in trying to transcend the human experience and the way life is now. I accept what is yet don’t lose sight of a vision for something more beautiful. The journey between becomes freeing and enjoyable.

The achieving, attaining, gathering, practical, and exclusive left hemisphere of my brain balances with the contextual, complex, holistic, embodied right hemisphere of my brain. From this beingness emerges a sense of spirit. A connection to something greater. A groundedness in the here and now, including the nature of social life at this time.

Our society has become dominantly left hemisphere focused. Attaining, divided, reductionist, purely utilitarian, disconnected from others, competitive and rivalirous. These are all qualities of the left hemisphere, as pointed out by Iian McGilchrist, these qualities become overly dominant when we don’t feed or balance with the right hemisphere.

This passage from the Tao Te Ching gives insight into what it feels like to balance both hemispheres.

A jar is formed from clay,
but its usefulness lies in the space between.

A room is made from four walls,
but its usefulness lies in the space between.

Matter is necessary to give form,
but the value of reality lies in its materiality.

Everything that lives has a physical body,
but the value of a life is measured by the soul.

- Tao Te Ching

All of this expressive writing aside, my course will focus on practical matters.

My motivation is to help people connect more deeply with themselves. Learn ways of listening to their body (soma), nervous system and consciousness, and live life from a more peaceful place. Instead of just managing time and our thinking, we’ll focus on managing energy.

We’ll explore an operating manual for being human, one that integrates the mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual and is backed by science.

With our world in anxious chaos, where people are often tired, uninspired, stressed out, and uncertain, we can’t expect solutions to emerge from this state of being. We need to create the physiological and conscious conditions within ourselves for a more beautiful world to emerge.

I’ll bring together my 15 years of exploring, practicing, and training in the healing arts - drawing from my nervous system and embodiment training a lot - and provide a pathway toward a more connected and resilient way of being. To help us respond to our current chaotic times with skill, hope, and intuition.

More on this soon.